Tomatoes

Last week, I had a casting for a stills ad (for the government...the money'll be rubbish i assume) & on the email my agent sent me, at the bottom, in bold text, were the words

'PLEASE ARRIVE DRESSED AS A TOMATO'

I don't understand this. At all. What's happening to my career?

But anyway, I do my best. I go to Matalan & buy an £8 red shirt & tie set. I ressurrect a pair of red braces from when I spent a month as one of Santa's elves in Birmingham two Christmases ago. I go to the casting. When I get there, I slip off to the toilets to get changed...there is a large man in the toilets frantically scrubbing make-up off his face whilst mumbling "I went too far". I decide against the red swimming cap I brought with me.

I get pencilled for the ad...I don't know why. What's so tomato-ey about me?

I thought I was more of a parsnip...